Confessions of a 30 something drama queen!!

I am tired. Worn out. And I have realized over the past few weeks that I tend to be overly dramatic about most things in my life. I know most of you are thinking "Um yeah we knew that about you". Well I didn't know that about myself until I was being so dramatic about things that I could no longer function. So what's the drama? It all started with girls camp. I tend to go a little overboard on things. I like to make things just how I want them and put way more work and thought into things than I need to. So I was worn out from getting ready for girls camp before I even went. Then we get there the first 2 days are incredibly busy but they go really well. We have a few girls with colds and stuff but no big deal. Then by tuesday night one of the girls was really not feeling well. I thought she was just homesick but when I went to check on her she was under four blankets and had goosebumps. So we loaded her up with one of the leaders who was leaving and sent her home. Later we found out that she had tested positive for swine flu. So for some people thats stressful, but you deal with it. For me it was complete meltdown, face your greatest anxiety, freak out, and lose it. Just to give you an idea when I heard that they cancelled school in park city for swine flu I took my kids out of school and went and stayed with my mom for 5 days. For some reason I have anxiety/panic attacks when it comes to getting sick. I realize I am over dramatic when it comes to the whole illness thing, but honestly I don't know how to change it. Anyway so here I am in camp with 11 girls in my cabin who have been exposed to the flu. I struggled a lot over that week. By Thursday night I was having full on panic attacks and struggling to stand at times. However I learned a lot about myself that week. I learned that I am actually stronger than I thought I was. I also learned that my Heavenly Father is always there for me. And although he may not take away my struggles or the things that scare me most, he is there to show me how to get through them. I also learned how much I love the girls and the leaders I work with. As I loaded this sick little girl in the car I cried for her. I cried for how much I knew she wanted to be at camp, I cried because I was worried about her, and I cried because I realized how much I love her and cared about her and each one of the girls in camp that night. I have 11 little beehives now. I love each one. I wish I was better at telling them that. I hope they know it. I also learned, again, what a wonderful husband I have. He was there to talk to me and calm me down. He hauled all of us and all our stuff up there, he came up and stayed the night, he loaded us all up and took us home. He was as always my rock.

So girls camp this year will probably never be forgotten. Melissa says it will go down in history as the year of the swine. Oh well I am slowly moving on. The panic attacks are going away. I am starting to laugh about it. I am learning that I need to stop being so dramatic about everything and need to just find logical ways of dealing with things. We survived, and actually no one else got sick. I am so thankful for that miracle. And many other small little miracles that happened that week to get us all through it.