Confessions of a 30 something drama queen!!

I am tired. Worn out. And I have realized over the past few weeks that I tend to be overly dramatic about most things in my life. I know most of you are thinking "Um yeah we knew that about you". Well I didn't know that about myself until I was being so dramatic about things that I could no longer function. So what's the drama? It all started with girls camp. I tend to go a little overboard on things. I like to make things just how I want them and put way more work and thought into things than I need to. So I was worn out from getting ready for girls camp before I even went. Then we get there the first 2 days are incredibly busy but they go really well. We have a few girls with colds and stuff but no big deal. Then by tuesday night one of the girls was really not feeling well. I thought she was just homesick but when I went to check on her she was under four blankets and had goosebumps. So we loaded her up with one of the leaders who was leaving and sent her home. Later we found out that she had tested positive for swine flu. So for some people thats stressful, but you deal with it. For me it was complete meltdown, face your greatest anxiety, freak out, and lose it. Just to give you an idea when I heard that they cancelled school in park city for swine flu I took my kids out of school and went and stayed with my mom for 5 days. For some reason I have anxiety/panic attacks when it comes to getting sick. I realize I am over dramatic when it comes to the whole illness thing, but honestly I don't know how to change it. Anyway so here I am in camp with 11 girls in my cabin who have been exposed to the flu. I struggled a lot over that week. By Thursday night I was having full on panic attacks and struggling to stand at times. However I learned a lot about myself that week. I learned that I am actually stronger than I thought I was. I also learned that my Heavenly Father is always there for me. And although he may not take away my struggles or the things that scare me most, he is there to show me how to get through them. I also learned how much I love the girls and the leaders I work with. As I loaded this sick little girl in the car I cried for her. I cried for how much I knew she wanted to be at camp, I cried because I was worried about her, and I cried because I realized how much I love her and cared about her and each one of the girls in camp that night. I have 11 little beehives now. I love each one. I wish I was better at telling them that. I hope they know it. I also learned, again, what a wonderful husband I have. He was there to talk to me and calm me down. He hauled all of us and all our stuff up there, he came up and stayed the night, he loaded us all up and took us home. He was as always my rock.

So girls camp this year will probably never be forgotten. Melissa says it will go down in history as the year of the swine. Oh well I am slowly moving on. The panic attacks are going away. I am starting to laugh about it. I am learning that I need to stop being so dramatic about everything and need to just find logical ways of dealing with things. We survived, and actually no one else got sick. I am so thankful for that miracle. And many other small little miracles that happened that week to get us all through it.

Forever.

So I haven't posted for a long time. Still waiting for lazy days of summer. They are not coming. Don't think they will happen this year. We went to Moab over father's day weekend. It was a total blast. We rented jeeps for a couple days and took 4 wheelers also. My parents and my sister Jill and her family came with us. With 8 kids total it could of been a disaster but the kids were all great. We stayed at a place that the pool was open til 11 so we could come back after dinner and let the kids swim. The red rocks are so beautiful down there. Patrick gave me a new camera for my birthday just before we left so I had a blast taking tons of pictures.

When we got back T had dance camp and K had basketball camp. B and S are doing reading tutoring this summer daily, and now they are all in swim lessons for the next week. I leave for girls camp the 13th of july for a week. Then we are home for a few days and leave for Yellowstone. We are renting a cabin and Jill's family is coming with us. Should be fun. We will take the 4-wheelers with us again.

Then we have S 8th birthday, youth conference, baby showers, helping family members that are moving, and maybe a trip to lake powell. Busy, crazy, and a lot of fun. Today we did a major over haul of the three storage rooms in the basement. Cleaning out stuff that had been there since we moved in. It was a huge project, but I am excited to have it done. The kids were a huge help. Just have to load the trailer and haul a bunch of stuff to the DI. Woohoo. Tonight, we did a fire pit and had hot dogs and roasted marshmallows it was so fun and relaxing to just sit by the fire. Ainslee thought that smores were the most wonderful thing she had ever tasted. She makes every moment funny. Today she announced to me "Hey mom guess what I went poops and peeps at the same time. I have a magic little bum huh" I was rolling, I was laughing so hard. Yep Ains that is one magical little bum you got there.