Time to update

Yes my last post was so happy and uplifting that it took me several months to top it. ;-) Life is busy but good. Yes thats what I always say "busy but good". Patrick said last night that things will calm down soon. I said no they won't, and they won't. We just move on from one thing to the next. Patrick has been very busy at work this summer so we haven't seen him much. When he is home more then the kids will be gone more and it just keeps going.

Life as we know it is always changing. But extra these days. Next week Kasadee starts High school and Ainslee starts Kindergarten. My oldest and my youngest going through major milestones at the same time makes me feel old. Old but happy. They are both great kids. Kasadee faces life with such determination and confidence. She can do anything. Ainslee just wants to be like her sisters. She is ready to move on from hanging out with mom and learn new things.

Life is good. I am thankful for my marriage. For all that I have because of my relationship with Patrick. I am greatful to be a mom. I am in awe of the wonderful kids I have, there joy, smiles, giggles, and humor fills my life everyday. I am thankful for wonderful extended family who love my kids and spend time with them.

Many parents count down the days until there kids start school with excitement. Somedays I do as well. But today in the quiet rainy moment I know I am going to miss them. Life will have routine again, and thats good, but I will miss the sound of little girls playing house in the basement all day long. I will miss the ding of Kasadee's phone as her friends text her one word messages like "so". I hope they have a great year. I hope they have great teachers. I hope they keep great friends and make new ones. Yes Life is Good, But Busy.

Venting

My Day

1. Took dog out at 4 am to pee and he took off after a cat, running through frosted grass with no shoes on at 4 am. Lovely.

2. 3 daughters decide to bath shower and run washer at the same time then yell at me when there is no hot water.

3. Finally get all kids to school and get in the shower. Shower head breaks and sends water all over the bathroom. I have to shower downstairs.

4. Daughter forgets she let dog drink lots of water and as we are cleaning up his pee, other daughter chokes on bacon and pukes all over.

I think its time for bed don't you.

long time

So when I originally started this blog I was going to be one of those people who posted every few days. I was going to have great words of wisdom to share with everyone. Well I have no wisdom and no great words. I am just muddling through this life like everyone else. But things are good, maybe even great around our house lately. I have dug myself out of another blue time, which seems to happen about every 6 months. Taking vitamins, and trying to take care of myself is helping. Having a great hubby who is always willing to talk, and who makes me talk things out when he can tell I am upset is also a huge help. Prayer, going to the temple, and looking for a deeper meaning to my life has helped. Choosing to be in my life at this time, doing what I have chosen to do has helped. But sometimes I am still in fear of the next down swing, when everything is so hard. Hoping this time I will stay happy, hoping this time I have found the answers to stay happy. We will see.

Anyway Sydnee was baptized this weekend and it was a very special day. We have wonderful supportive family, and she was so excited. I mean like counting down the days excited. What a great kid she is! Always trying to make someone laugh. Doing her baptism video (a imovie that I have made for each of the girls) reminded me of a lot of things throughout her life, the many broken bones (i think 6 is the total) the fun, and the tongue that she sticks out everytime I have a camera in my hand. She is a wonderful daughter and even though she is the kid I struggle with the most, I truly have a deep love for her.

I am so thankful to all who were there to make the day special for her. And now that I am the happy version of me I will try to post more often.

Quest for happiness!

So last night we had one of those wonderful FHE's where you think you should apply for a job at a zoo, cause you have lots of experience. Or I could direct a play because I am also an expert in drama. Or maybe I could lecture at the college level because I am really good at telling kids something 10 different ways and they still do not listen.

As a direct result of a crazy summer and a crazy start of school, I have officially gone crazy, lost my mind, whatever you want to call it. So I am on a quest to find it (my mind). In trying to work out some of the kinks in our schedule we decided that as a family everyone would right down 10 things they are thankful for as soon as they got up in the morning. I read about it in this great book called "The Noticer" by Andy Andrews. Anyway an old man tells a guy who is always worried about stuff to write down things he is grateful for first thing in the morning. That it will change the way his brain works and looks at things. He also says "The seeds of depression cannot take root in a grateful heart." One of my girls really struggles with looking at the good side of anything. She walks in the kitchen every morning looks for what we don't have and decides that is the only thing she will eat for breakfast. She can tell you every single thing that went wrong with her day, but not one thing that went right. She is the ultimate pessimist and I am determined to help her find ways to be happy before she ends up being just like me. So this morning she wrote down her 10 things, and so did the rest of us and hopefully we as a family can learn to be more grateful and less depressed.

My 10 things I was grateful for today were:

1.Patrick

2. Music

3. Sleep

4. Family

5. Laughter

6. Friends

7. Testimony

8. Church Leaders

9. Rain

10. Home

What are your 10 things today?

10 things

10 things I did this summer:

1. Went on Jeep and 4 wheeler rides in Moab.

2. Went to girls camp.

3. Survived the camp swine flu scare.

4. Went to yellowstone. Favorite part Mammoth Hotsprings.

5. Took a lot of pictures with my new camera.

6. Grew a garden, made bruschetta chicken with my tomatoes and basil tonight.

7. Youth conference. We had a great time staying at my parents house and going to the Martin harris Pageant.

8. Grew shorter than my oldest. Or she grew taller than me.

9. Watched 2 of my daughters get up on wakeboards at Lake Powell. Their smiles when finally getting up were priceless.

10. Had a great and wonderful time vacationing, laughing, and enjoying my family.

And now that summer is officially over I will miss it. School starts in the morning. And Wednesday my baby goes off to preschool.

Wow!

So it's been an amazing summer. We just got back from Lake Powell last night. Traveling to Moab, Yellowstone, and Lake Powell this summer has truly made me recognize what a beautiful world God has given us. I look at the mountains and beauty I am surrounded by differently now. I see the beauty more clearly.

In all of the business and traveling this simmer I also have come to see God more clearly in my life. I have come to see His hands in my life in the small and simple things, and tender mercies he offers me. Lake Powell was incredibly relaxing. I was worried about spending that much time in closed quarters with my family, so I prayed for help to get through the week. I know those prayers were answered. It was like the things that have always bugged me about family members just didn't matter and I was able to be myself and enjoy the fun. I was having such a good time I called Patrick who was home working and convinced him to come down for just a few days. He got to the lake Thursday night. Friday morning my mom fell waterskiing and broke her femur. Although this was a traumatic ordeal we have all embarked on I have clearly seen His hands watching over us. See we only had 2 cars and 13 people but because Patrick had come down the night before we had 3 cars, and my dad was able to drive his car to meet the helicopter in St. George. My sister Kim was planning on going home on Wednesday but her boss sent her an email telling her to stay. If Kim and her hubby had left I would have been on the house boat by myself with 6 kids all day. Also we had parked the house boat in a spot that had cell signal, that can be hard to come by on Lake Powell, so I was able to call 911 and let them know that my mom was coming in the ski boat and they met her at the dock with an ambulance to transport her.

Saturday the rest of us packed up and headed to the marina. We knew a storm was coming but the weather channel didn't sound like it would be that big of a deal. The winds hit hard and fast. We were blessed to have all of our equipment in just the right spot at just the right time. The waverunners were out of the water and on the trailer. The houseboat was tied up to the sewer dump area and perfectly secure and the ski boat was on a beach that was behind a hill that was protecting it. The kids were in the car. Everyone was safe. After the storm calmed we were able to get to the houseboat to the buoy and get the ski boat out of the water just before dark. I am so thankful that it all went ok. We later heard that a houseboat had rolled in the cove we had left earlier that day.

We headed to St. George and spent a few days getting my mom a place to stay for the next week until she can come home. She was released from the hospital last night and is slowly improving. I hope she can sit back and take care of herself and let us take care of her for once. Anyone who has ever heard me talk about my mom knows what an amazing women she is. Always there for us, always taking care of us, and everyone else. She is the most giving person I know. My dad said she started to cry in the hospital and he asked her if she was hurting. She said no that she was crying because she needed to be able to help my sister Jan paint her house. That's my mom for you always thinking about everyone else. Love her.

Confessions of a 30 something drama queen!!

I am tired. Worn out. And I have realized over the past few weeks that I tend to be overly dramatic about most things in my life. I know most of you are thinking "Um yeah we knew that about you". Well I didn't know that about myself until I was being so dramatic about things that I could no longer function. So what's the drama? It all started with girls camp. I tend to go a little overboard on things. I like to make things just how I want them and put way more work and thought into things than I need to. So I was worn out from getting ready for girls camp before I even went. Then we get there the first 2 days are incredibly busy but they go really well. We have a few girls with colds and stuff but no big deal. Then by tuesday night one of the girls was really not feeling well. I thought she was just homesick but when I went to check on her she was under four blankets and had goosebumps. So we loaded her up with one of the leaders who was leaving and sent her home. Later we found out that she had tested positive for swine flu. So for some people thats stressful, but you deal with it. For me it was complete meltdown, face your greatest anxiety, freak out, and lose it. Just to give you an idea when I heard that they cancelled school in park city for swine flu I took my kids out of school and went and stayed with my mom for 5 days. For some reason I have anxiety/panic attacks when it comes to getting sick. I realize I am over dramatic when it comes to the whole illness thing, but honestly I don't know how to change it. Anyway so here I am in camp with 11 girls in my cabin who have been exposed to the flu. I struggled a lot over that week. By Thursday night I was having full on panic attacks and struggling to stand at times. However I learned a lot about myself that week. I learned that I am actually stronger than I thought I was. I also learned that my Heavenly Father is always there for me. And although he may not take away my struggles or the things that scare me most, he is there to show me how to get through them. I also learned how much I love the girls and the leaders I work with. As I loaded this sick little girl in the car I cried for her. I cried for how much I knew she wanted to be at camp, I cried because I was worried about her, and I cried because I realized how much I love her and cared about her and each one of the girls in camp that night. I have 11 little beehives now. I love each one. I wish I was better at telling them that. I hope they know it. I also learned, again, what a wonderful husband I have. He was there to talk to me and calm me down. He hauled all of us and all our stuff up there, he came up and stayed the night, he loaded us all up and took us home. He was as always my rock.

So girls camp this year will probably never be forgotten. Melissa says it will go down in history as the year of the swine. Oh well I am slowly moving on. The panic attacks are going away. I am starting to laugh about it. I am learning that I need to stop being so dramatic about everything and need to just find logical ways of dealing with things. We survived, and actually no one else got sick. I am so thankful for that miracle. And many other small little miracles that happened that week to get us all through it.